While observing competition at the recent ASEAN Para Games, I was struck by how often a familiar coaching cue surfaced: ‘Don’t be scared.’ It was well-intentioned, of course, but I saw the athletes tense up almost immediately.
Approach vs Avoidance Language
The above is an example of why it is important to distinguish between approach and avoidance language (Elliot,1999). Our brains are wired differently towards goals we move toward (approach) and threats we move away from (avoid). “Don’t be scared” is an avoidance frame—it highlights the threat (fear, failure). An approach frame directs attention toward the outcome that you want.
Coach Hansen 