Doing it ‘for others’ is overrated!
Athletes often talk about ‘sacrificing’ for their team, supporters, coach, or even their country. There’s nothing wrong with that so long as it comes from authentic respect or gratitude. But here’s the catch: if that becomes your main motivation, it won’t lift you. More often than not, it will hold you back and here’s why…
The Trap of ‘For Others…”
Picture this: you are stepping up to compete and you are telling yourself, “I must win this! I can’t let my parents and my team down.”
What’s that going to do to your confidence? Chances are that your performance becomes fragile, and you are going to get overwhelmed by anxiety.
Specifically, when you focus on living up to the perceived expectations of others, you are inevitably focusing on what you can’t control and that only leaves you feeling helpless. Instead, focus on yourself and what’s within your direct control, e.g., your preparation, your routines, your execution. I’ve discussed the fear of disappointing others before — read more here
Is It Genuine, or are you asking for Validation?
Sometimes “doing it for others” is genuine and energising. Other times, it masks a desire for recognition, validation, or applause. Seeking acknowledgement is natural, but it shouldn’t be your main motivator. When you do not get the validation you feel you deserve, frustration and resentment can hurt your performance.
A useful question to ask yourself is: “If no one noticed or appreciated my effort, would I still do it?”
Yes → it’s genuine.
No → maybe you’re seeking validation.
Spotting the difference matters, and there is usually a mix of both. When your actions are anchored mainly in your own reasons, then your energy, focus, and confidence are less likely to be at the mercy of others.
Just Do It for Yourself Lah…
Helping others or even contributing to a cause is fine and even admirable. But if that’s your only reason, your performance will always be fragile – you’ll be chasing approval, battling expectations, and distracted by things you can’t control.
Instead…
Anchor your effort in yourself. Do it because it matters to you. Because when your drive comes from your own reasons — your growth, your mastery, your satisfaction, aka shiok sendiri — everything else becomes a bonus. That’s when you’ll truly perform at your best — free, focused, and unstoppable.
Coach Hansen
Coach Hansen 